Forum Posts

Milla Reika
Jan 02, 2021
In Kinbaku (general)
Dear all, As we all know, kinbaku is a risky practice that can lead to serious injury. While I find that there are some great resources that focus on nerve placement and areas prone to nerve injury in kinbaku, I feel that there are limited resources for practically assessing blood flow restriction. How much occlusion is within safe limits and for how long? How do we discern if the occlusion is arterial or venous? What are the implications of either, and how long can we leave someone tied in a position where there is visible discoloration. Why do some people tend to discolor a lot faster than others? I am currently working with a trained medical practitioner in this area to come up with some practical evaluation techniques and more detailed information starting with a focus on the vascular system. As part of this project, we are also looking for some reference photos of any bind you have done or been tied in, where there is visible discoloration or occlusion. (*please only offer images that you have permission to use and give permission to use) Please feel to also comment with: ・Any questions you have, ・Any resources you know of which focus on this area. I thought that I would also share this interactive 3-D diagram for reference. https://www.healthline.com/human-body-maps/shoulder-nerves-vessels#1 https://www.healthline.com/human-body-maps/anterior-tibial-artery#1
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Milla Reika
Dec 09, 2020
In Kinbaku (general)
This is a question that many people ask me, and one which I have asked myself during my journey in Kinbaku. Understanding what people mean by style and, then learning to distinguish these is an endless journey. To start I would like to share a couple of comments from people in a thread on this topic which I came across on Fetlife in the “Kinbaku Group” “I think this difference is often lost in rope culture (In the west). People focus on the ties to determine "Style" or "School". When that is only the smallest measure, or beginning step to understanding a style. Understanding why, or the end goal of those techniques, will give you the ability to do self expression in that particular style. Take it another way, Many skilled painters could reproduce the Mona Lisa. However that does not mean they have mastered DaVinci's Style. Often they are only reproducing a copy of what they have seen. Understanding his approach to portraits, How and where color is to be used, even how to capture expression would be far more valuable to mastering his Style of painting. Too often riggers will attempt simply mastering the tie, rather than the approach to tying and its goals or purposes, hence they miss the mark on capturing style". - @Lord_Ramirez (Fetlife) “I think the key to a style is the thought process of the originator, and what they want to get out of a session… …Yukimura has very specific goals that he wants to get out of a session, and he has adapted the basics on one way, whereas Naka has very different goals and has adapted the basics in another way that make sense to what they want to achieve.” (—Renegade—) Fetlife I feel that these comments answer the question “what constitutes a style” quite well and that differing styles in kinbaku are borne from the approach and the motivations and intent of the person tying. It’s impossible to truly understand all the differing styles. Finding one or even two that resonates with you, and then spending the time to learn the thinking, mindset and approach behind this style is the key to deepening your own kinbaku, I think. The below explanations are not exhaustive and are based on my observation only. The aim is to give a very broad overview to demonstrate how I would distinguish differences between some of the more well-known kinbaku-shi, rather than a comprehensive insight into their style; which is something that only they could do themselves. I have not learned from these kinbaku-shi and therefore can only give a watered-down version based on my own limited understanding. Please feel free to add, critique or discuss or question. Differing perspectives are welcome (and the purpose of these forums). Ichi-nawa-kai style : Dynamic suspensions with minimal ropes. I feel this style tends to celebrate the figure of the model by focusing on accentuating various parts of the body in differing poses. Pleasure is reaped through “sense of beauty” felt by both the person being tied and the person tying. While each rope may serve a purpose/function and include elements of ‘seme,’ which are also part of the pleasure or enjoyment there is more of a focus on the visual aspects than in other styles. Another key characteristic is that each part of the body is tied in isolation to the rest of the bind (ie. The chest harness, hip harness, legs are tied separately and often not connected) For example the hip harness is separate to the chest. The legs, while sometimes tied into the hip harness, are also often tied using a simple column tie which is then hoisted into suspension. For this reason there is often more focused uneven pressure on the body, depending on the position. By uneven pressure, I mean that while the ropes on the body are carefully and evenly tensioned, when in suspension the weight tends to be concentrated on one area such as the chest (when in horizontal poses), the hips (when in inversion) or the legs (when in inversion by one or two legs). The load is shifted throughout. This style is orientated to allow fast and dynamic transitioning and to easily change where the load is on the body. Tying in this style is quite fast due to the fact that each part is is tied in isolation and has less lock-offs and less rope that other styles. This means that each pose is less sustainable for long periods of time (static suspension); requiring multiple transitions. Style of “Seme”: Imagine of “seme” as targeting something and then honing in on that target, gradually constraining and inducing it to a state of surrender. As the point of pressure and level of constraint is constantly being changed, I feel that this style will hone in on target A, then change and hone in on target B, and then C and so forth. Overall it is less focused than Kitagawa (explained below) who will have one target only and will focus on that gradually increasing the pressure and the level of constraint and the level of stimulation; coming closer and closer to his partner’s limits. Kitagawa-san: Kitagawa-san is less known in the West due to the fact that he does not perform or promote himself openly. His style is concentrated on ‘seme’ and how each rope functions to intensify the experience of his partner. Characteristically he does not transition his partner when in suspension (or on the floor), but rather will focus on one static position which he will gradually intensify. He does not isolate the binds on the body, but rather connects all ropes to create a constraining yet extremely solid encompassing bind across the entire body. While he typically only uses one suspension line, the precise tensioning and placement of all ropes on the body allow for a more even and sustainable distribution of the load when in suspension and on the floor. (this explanation does not near give justice to the depth of knowledge and underlying concepts of Kitagawa’s Kinbaku and style. I hope it offers some “food for thought” when it comes to discerning differences in style in kinbaku). https://salonk2.com
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Milla Reika
Nov 26, 2020
In Kinbaku (general)
(While more of an explanation, please feel free to add your thoughts, ask questions or discuss) Kinbaku Diaries mixes traditional learning approaches in Japan aimed at nurturing a deeper intrinsic understanding through careful and active observation with hints of Western approaches which tend to start with direct explanation. Based on the thinking that a student will only see the true answers once they have developed the mind, the eye and the integrity to do so, this approach does not assume a lineal journey with ‘departure point’ with ‘final destination.’ The rules and formulas are regarded as the simple part and, on a surface,-level can be learned by anyone and at any time. Yet, with kinbaku, in particular, all is subjective. Fostering an understanding of the logic and reasoning is synchronous with developing a strong and subtle mind that can intuitively and reflexively see, feel and respond to each situation and moment. In Japanese, they say it must be learned in the heart and the hands; not in the head. As a Westerner who began and continues to pursue my training in Japan, I understand the frustrations that come from the ambiguity and the lack of concrete answers and clarity into the what, why and how, that comes with this approach. I understand what it feels like just to want someone to give you answer, or even a clue, when you are standing there “hitting your head against wall that won’t budge.” Yet in hindsight, I feel that my understanding developed through this process is one that now exists in my heart, my hand and my body. While I still have much to learn, I feel it has imparted on me the patience and integrity to respond to instinctively to my partner; and create a “story” unique to each person I tie, and to each moment in which I tie. I don’t believe in lineal learning, nor that you should only watch beginner “how-to” videos if you are a beginner. You do not need to take in every detail, nor watch actively at all times. I think of it like learning languages. When learning Japanese, sometimes I sat down with a textbook and drilled myself. Other times I just had a language CD playing in the background as I went to sleep. It was only later in conversation, that I noticed that I was using words that I didn't even realize that I knew. With children, sure we select what information we teach them based on their ability, but we don't filter our conversations around, saying "No we can't have that conversation in front of the child because it is too difficult for them to comprehend yet." We do not sit them down at the age of 1 and explain grammar rules to them. Children will listen repeatedly to the world around them, but only hear or absorb what they are capable of at that point in time. As their capacity grows they start to absorb more. There is a lot that I don’t know, that I can’t explain in words; but that’s ok. I also feel that it is not always conducive to do so. What I see when I watch someone tie, or someone being tied, now is very different to what I would have seen 8 years ago, or even 2 years ago. What I heard or understood from an explanation given to me 8 years is very different from what I would hear or understand now, and what will hear or understand 5 years from now. -Milla Reika
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Milla Reika
Oct 30, 2020
In General Discussions
This is a short discussion for new and existing members to give a short introduction or just say hello. You don't need to use your real name or reveal your full identity. Don't be shy!
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Milla Reika
Aug 30, 2020
In General Discussions
【"意識的に見て学ぶ"ということ】 縄筋ばかりを気にする人に、大切なことをどう教えるか? 現在の縄会や縄教室では、ルート(縛り方の手順)やテンション(縄の圧力)などをより詳しく、その全てを教わりたい人が多いように感じます。しかし、緊縛には、口頭で教えきることが難しいのが事実です。それは決して教え方の問題ではなく、教わる方の実践や探究によって心と体で感じ取り、より練習回数をこなすことでしか取得できないところ、感性によって取得していくところも多いのです。この事についてスキル、経験、知識を伝え、共有する最善の方法を見出そうとしました。自分がどのように学んできたか、何が有効だったのか、私自身の「縄の旅」を振り返ってみると、他人の縄を観察することにより吸収し、そしてそれを実践に応用してきたことだとわかりました。 私にとって緊縛を学ぶというのは「見る(注視する)」ことであり、直接わかりやすい指導を受ける機会はあまりありませんでした。師は何が「間違っている」のかは指摘してくれても、「正しい」方法を明示してくれるわけではなかったのです。当時は不満を抱くこともありましたが、今にして思えば、自力で答えに辿り着かせようとしてくれていたのでしょう。会話の中に散りばめられたヒントやアドバイスをかき集め、目の前で行われる緊縛をよく見ていくことで修行してきました。縄を学ぶにあたっては、実際の緊縛を見ることが一番有効だと思います。そのような勉強の仕方を見直してほしいという考えから、今回のオンラインでの動画配信を始めました。 ○緊縛日記のビジョン・目指すところ 緊縛日記はシリーズとして1〜2ヵ月毎に新しい動画を追加していきます。また、撮影後の解説やヒントなどのボーナスコンテンツを充実させていく予定です。更に、オンラインフォーラムやライブストリーミングなどで交流やディスカッションができるようにしていきたいと思っています。 学びに終わりはなく、研鑽は生涯続きます。議論は、自分自身の考えを振り返って評価するための手段であるとともに、視野を広げ新たな気付きを得るための手段でもあると考えています。そのためにも、この「緊縛日記」が教材や質疑応答に終わるのではなく、交流・反省・探求の場になることを期待しています。
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Milla Reika
Aug 27, 2020
In Kinbaku (general)
What are your motivations for doing kinbaku and what do you get out of it?
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Milla Reika
Aug 26, 2020
In Kinbaku (general)
Just as in anything in life whether it be pursuing a particular practice/art or our relationships with others, we are constantly coming up against 'walls' which we must find a way around or learn to work with. In my own experiences and in conversations with others I have come up against many. Of recent discussion was tying with someone who is easily aroused or tend to 'fall into subspace' very quickly. This can make it harder to achieve the exact tension with the ropes if one is not yet fully adept in handling the ropes and their partner simultaneously. I opened this forum to create a place where we can discuss such challenges, give advice and hopefully come up with techniques or ideas to overcome these.
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Milla Reika
Aug 24, 2020
In General Discussions
What inspired the making of the ‘Kinbaku Diaries’? There were two main thoughts or instigators that propelled me to start these Kinbaku diaries. Teaching and sharing cause one to reflect and question oneself: What inspired me, what steps in my journey brought me to my current thinking, how did I acquire the skills I possess and how do I continue to deepen my understanding and skills. When learning kinbaku I rarely received direct teaching, but rather it was a process of absorbing myself in the community and actively seeking to apply what I observed to my own practice. More often than not I was never given an answer to my questions, but rather they were met with counter questions. My mentors were quick to tell me where I ‘wrong’ but not what is ’right.’ At many points, I found myself frustrated by this, yet in hindsight I realize that my mentors were challenging me to inquire deeper, to seek the answers through discovery, and to question what and why I came to certain conclusions. It was a test of how willing I was prepared to go, and how open I was to the hints and clues that were hidden in conversations and the kinbaku being played out before my eyes. There were many times when I had been struggling to figure out the best way to secure a knot or prevent the rope from slipping in places. When I finally came to an answer of my own, my mentor simply nodded and said she knew. "Why hadn't she just told me?" But, this part of the learning process. I found myself attending as many performances as possible, hassling the performers afterward with a series of questions, and then running home and trying to practice what I saw on myself. The second point that instigated this project I am often so consumed within the moment that once the session is finished, I don't even clearly remember what tie or suspension pattern I did. It was at this point then that we can up with the idea of creating a video diary of our kinbaku experiences together. It started as something personnel but with time I realized that it is also something that I want to share; that could be a valuable resource for not only people who have come to Japan from afar to take lessons with me but for anyone at any point in their journey. What the future holds? The ‘Kinbaku Diaries’ series will be a growing library of content with new videos being added every 1-2 months, alongside bonus content such as after-shoot commentaries, tips and thoughts on the content and kinbaku as a whole. I plan to also create online forums and live-streaming sessions to allow for closer and more personal interaction and discussion. Kinbaku is a practice and an intimate act that allows one to enter into and explore differing aspects of their self, their sexuality, and their desires through interaction. It is an act that allows one to explore the other on varied and deeper levels of intimacy, knowing, and trust. While an act that most often takes place between two people, I also hope that by sharing and discussing our journeys, experiences, skills, and knowledge that we can build a genuine and close-knit community unbound by geographical location. Our learning is never-ending, and we are all ‘students’ until the day we die. I value discussion as a means to reflect and re-evaluate one’s own thinking, as well as a way to broaden perspectives and come to new realizations. Therefore, I hope that these platforms will become not only a Q&A section but also a space for interaction, reflection, and inquiry. Please feel free to share your journey here, ask questions or just leave a comment.
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Milla Reika

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